My Definitive Ranking of (New) Doctor Who Companions

This is a bit of an indulgent post since I know not all of my readers are fans of Doctor Who, but I think enough of you are to make this post not entirely useless!  I should note that this post will be filled with some minor spoilers for the show, but I am going to do my best to be vague so any non-Whovians reading don’t have the show spoiled for them!  We’re going to go from my least favorite companions to my favorite, so let’s get ranking!!

8.  Mickey

I don’t know if Mickey actually counts, but I never liked him.  He kept going, “Oh, Rose, you’re always going to choose the Doctor.  It’s always him.  Boo hoo.”  To which I kept screaming, “IT’S THE DOCTOR, YOU IDIOT.  OF COURSE SHE’S GOING TO CHOOSE HIM.”  So, he gets last place.  Sorry, Mickey.

7.  Martha Jones

I feel bad for not liking Martha as much as the others.  I’ll admit when I first watched I just hated her because she followed Rose, and being in complete Rose-Ten-denial, I didn’t like a new pretty girl ending up in the Tardis.  I also found her crush on the Doctor to be annoying.  Although, in retrospect, the girl was totally on point with that.  Who could travel with the Doctor and not develop a crush on him?  Anyway, I had sort of an irrational dislike of Martha, which has definitely tempered with time.  When you see the totality of her involvement (meaning all the way through S4) she’s pretty badass.  And you can’t deny she has solid leather-jacket-game.

On a completely random note, though, why the hell does she end up with Mickey?  It comes out of nowhere and feels like a very sketchy move on R.T. Davies’ part.  Not that they don’t make a banging couple, of course, but again…why???

6.  River Song

River is one of those characters where I don’t totally know if she counts as a companion, but I’m including her anyway!  I feel bad putting her so low, but it’s only because all the companions are really fantastic and someone had to be sixth best.  River is in one of the best S4 episodes with Ten.  And then she is in THE BEST weeping angel arc in S5.  I love how blunt and sarcastic she is with the Doctor, and while their romance does not even come close to a prior one (cough…Rose…cough) I’m still a fan.

5.  Clara Oswald

I don’t have strong feelings on Clara, which is probably why she’s lower down on the list.  Of those not-strong-feelings, though, they’re relatively positive.  I like her relationship with the Doctor and she was pretty fantastic in Day of the Doctor.  Her and River are probably interchangeable for ranking purposes, but I put Clara higher since she is an official companion, and also the current one.  She also gets points for getting the Doctor to pretend to be her boyfriend on Christmas.  Even if he showed up naked.

4.  Jack Harkness

Again, I’m not entirely sure Jack counts as a companion, but I’m pretty sure that John Barrowman says he was a companion and that’s good enough for me!  I love Jack.  So much.  He’s such a saucy and fun character.  I love how he flirts with anything that has a pulse.  I love his faith in the Doctor.  I love his long jacket and unbridled sass.  He’s just the best.

Now I need to go watch some Torchwood.

3.  The Ponds

I know some people weren’t a big fan of the Ponds, but I really enjoyed them.  I thought their entire arc was well-done and their exit, while heartbreaking, was perfect.  Admittedly, Rory started off pretty useless and then he turned into the guy who just died all the time.  By the end, though, he’d become his own strong character.  Amy also grew from the Girl Who Waited to part of one of the greatest bromances in Doctor Who history.

2.  Rose Tyler

What is there even to say about Rose Tyler?  She was the original new companion.  You entered the Whovian world with her, and then nothing was ever the same.  The budding romance with Nine was beautiful to watch, and then the continuation with Ten was equal parts adorable and heartbreaking.  If anyone watched Doomsday and Journey’s End without crying, well, you’re a better person than me.

You also cannot forget that Rose Tyler is a package deal.  With Rose you get her hilarious mother Jackie Tyler and that, my friends, is a blessing.  I love Jackie Tyler with her over-lined eyes and dubious taste in men.  Love, love, love.

1.  Donna Noble

We’ve reached number one!  I have so much love for Donna Noble.  She saw herself as this completely ordinary and unimportant temp, but then ended up being the most important woman in the universe.  Not only did she pretty much save everyone in Series 4, but she also helped the Doctor heal after Rose’s departure.  Sure, it seemed like a minor thing in the Christmas Special, but I think she was the driving force behind the Doctor finding Martha as his new companion.  She made him realize that he’s better off when he’s traveling with someone.  No one wants a lonely and bitter Time Lord!

I think the main reason I love Donna Noble, though, is because of her grade-A sass.  Her and the Doctor were best buds, which meant she never held back from yelling at him when he was being an idiot.  Also, the exchange between the two of them when he says he wants “a mate” and she thinks he said he wants “to mate” is one of the funniest Ten moments.

Do you guys agree with my ranking?