What I’ve Learned About Law School Softball

What have I learned about law school softball?

I don’t actually like playing.

Now, I know you’re going to read this and go, “Well, then why are you on the team, dummy?”

First off, that use of “dummy” was completely uncalled for and second, that is a very good question.  Why am I on the team?  Because law school softball is an institution.  It’s one of those things that is innately College of Law, and you sort of fell left out not doing.  I vividly remember my neighbor who went here before me talking about it repeatedly and how great it was.  Plus, you get snazzy t-shirts.  And if you didn’t know this about me, well, I will do just about anything for a t-shirt.

I didn’t mind it last season because we had too many people to play, so I just sat in the dug-out with my one teammate’s fiancé and gabbed it up.  I also would hand out baked goods to everyone when they came back from the field.  It was basically an hour of gossiping, eating, and talking about the relative attractiveness of the other team.  Now, I have to actually stand in the field and get constantly yelled at by our captain for not paying attention.

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It’s not always bad, though.

I had an admittedly good play on Thursday with a touch of my usual ridiculousness.  I got on a base and through subsequent plays ended up running to home.  For someone who has never even gotten close to home base, it was pretty exciting.

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home base, here I come!!!!!!!

So, I touch what I think is the base and everyone is yelling me for me  to “Touch home!”.  So, I go back and plant my foot on the same thing.  Finally our captain yells, “No, Liz!  You need to touch home!  TOUCH HOME!”

To which I reply:  “WHERE THE F*** IS HOME?!”

Turns out I was touching the thingie that you bat off of, not home plate, which I had ZERO clue about.  The umpire came to my aid and everyone laughed – including me – as I finally touched home and ran back to the dugout.  Despite my awesome play (it was totally awesome) my captain is benching me for our Sunday game.

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I’m not complaining.

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You Like Me! You Really Like Me!!

Yesterday I had the immense pleasure of finding out that I had been nominated for a Liebster Award over on Purple Closet Beauty!  For those of you unfamiliar with the Liebster award, it’s designed for the smaller audience blogs with 200 or less readers.  Hello, my four to five readers, they’re talking about you!  When I went to read the award’s accompanying post, I was surprised and delighted to see my blog posted as:

Witty Commentary from Tip Top Shape

Rule of thumb over here – if you want to me to like you, tell me I’m pretty.  If you want me to love you forever and compose sonnets in your honor, tell me I’m witty.  Don’t worry Nathalie, I’m not actually composing sonnets over here, but I am really excited to be nominated.  So, to accept my nomination I will share 10 facts about me and then answer the nomination questions.  Hopefully I can make this mildly entertaining.

THE FACTS – aka Things You Never Knew or Cared To Know About Me

1) I am a TV addict.  At one point, I was religiously following eight shows at once.  This was when I was in high school and lacked real responsibilities.

2) The word blood makes my feet feel all weird.  Like, right now.  My feet feel weird.

3)  I can give the Gilmore Girls a run for their money in coffee consumption.

4) My favorite book and movie is Gone With The Wind.

5)  Nora Ephron is my favorite writer and her works have inspired me in both writing and life.  When she passed last year, I took it much harder than someone who has never met her probably should have.

6)  I’m a terrible cuticle-picker and will often splurge on manicures because I have the mentality that if I shell out a bunch of money to get my nails done I won’t pick at my cuticles.  This logic proves faulty every time.

7) People tell me a lot that I look like Lea Michele.  They also tell me I remind them of Zooey Deschanel.  As neither looks like the other, you can probably understand my resulting confusion.

8) I don’t like tomatoes but love tomato sauce.

9)  I tried going vegan for about a month but then realized I couldn’t live without bacon.

10)  I’m in law school and planning to pursue a career in medical malpractice defense.

THE QUESTIONS – aka More Things You Never Knew or Cared To Know About Me (The Cherry-picked Version)

1) What is your current obsession?

What is not my current obsession?  I sort of love all things.  I’m an equal opportunity lover.  If I had to choose one thing, though, it’d probably be Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  It’s sort of a timeless obsession since it’s one of my favorite shows, but I have been bingeing on the episodes more than usual lately.

2) What food do you think everyone should try at least first?

Dates.  People give them such a bad rap because they kind of look like shriveled cockroaches.  BUT, they are amazing.  Especially when stuffed with goat cheese and wrapped in bacon.

3) What is your favorite city?

I went to Spain a few years back and fell in love with Madrid.  Everyone just dresses so beautifully there.  Sweats are not an option.  I don’t even think I saw that many people wearing shorts or capries (it was summer).  The entire city was just beautiful and full of history and culture.  I loved every minute I spent there.

4)  What was your biggest surprise?

When I went to law school I was really worried that I wouldn’t make friends quickly.  I usually take some time to warm up to people, but I clicked with so many people immediately here.  And the best part?  I’m still friends with all of them!

5)  Last book that made you laugh?

Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out With Me? (And Other Concerns) is one of the funniest books I have ever read.  Her humor is so much like mine and I find myself laughing at every page.  She has an entire bit about why she does not have one night stands that literally could have come straight from my own diatribes to friends on the subject.  Just, do yourself a favor and read that book.  You will not regret it.  And if you do, you can come back here and tell me that I have terrible taste in books.

My Nominations Are:

Rach @ This Italian Family — her posts never fail to make me smile!

Autumn @ Good Eats Girl — her recipes are just fabulous

Fancy This…Fancy That — okay, this one is larger than 200 followers, but Ameena is too fabulous to not include!  Her posts are HILARIOUS.

A Bitchin’ Kitchin – Maggie has some amazing recipes and her blog name may be the best out there

Hope you check these lovely ladies out!

The Murtaugh List

It’s probably not a surprise to you all, after reading just one post of this blog, that law students go out a lot.  It’s the old adage, “Work hard.  Play hard.”  All week we are slaves to our books and the lawbrary.  We read endless pages.  Go through a ridiculously high number of highlighters.

Then it’s the weekend and we like to go out and pretend that we’re normal people.  Or at least I used to.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I really do like going out with my cohorts.  It’s fun.  They’re fun.  But lately I’ve been feeling like it’s more of a chore than a fun Friday night.  The problem is that I’m naturally a homebody.  I like to go out once in a while, but if I’m being completely honest on a Friday night was I really want to do is eat a burger and watch some Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Bridget Jones’ Diary for the eighteenth time.

The problem is, by the not-remotely-old age of 22, I have lost my desire to rage.  I don’t want to take seven shots.  I don’t want to bar hop.  I want to go to one place, have one beer, dance a little, and then end up home and in bed by one.  Basically, my Murtaugh List has been born.

For those of you who are thinking, “What the hell is a Murtaugh List?”, well, let me explain.  The Murtaugh List hails from How I Met Your Mother and is a collection of things you deem yourself too old to muddle through.  The name comes from Danny Glover’s character in Die Hard who repeatedly says that he’s…well…I’ll let the picture speak for itself.

Maybe it’s just a phase or I haven’t settled back into my old school routine.  I’m leaning toward that because last semester I kept up with everyone else and had a blast doing it.  Either way, I’ll keep the Murtaugh List close.  I’m sure I’ll have other things to add soon like my neighbors playing their music too loud or the price of milk going up.

How do you guys feel about going out?  Love it?  Hate it?  Don’t really care and are just wondering why there isn’t a recipe here?

Lessons In Being Awkward

Today’s post is brought to you by my chronic inability to have successful human interactions.  Alright, to be honest I’m not that bad.  I have a lot of friends and from what I’ve heard people generally like me.  Or at the least, they don’t think I’m a bitch or raging kleptomaniac.  I do have my moments, though, and I want to share some of them with you.

1) When you run into your former crush at a bar a good start to the conversation is not, “So, I hear you’re my roommate’s T.A.”   Like seriously, talk about the weather.  Talk about Kanye and Kim K’s forthcoming kid and how it’ll be front and center in Suri Cruise’s burn book.  Literally, anything would be better than resorting to T.A. talk.  I mean ANYTHING.

2) When said conversation goes down in flames, the correct response is not to just walk away in silence.  This just makes you look strange and will ensure that all future interactions will be uncomfortable.  Plus, don’t forget that terrible conversations aren’t one-sided.  He was being just as dull as you were.

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3)  There will be a time when you think it’s absolutely imperative to show off your signature dance moves to everyone within arms distance at the bar.  Your friends will goad you on and a few people will play along with feigned interest.  Meanwhile you’re jumping around like a drunk monkey while people are actually thinking, “What is happening and how can I make it stop?”

So, seriously, don’t do it.  For the love of all things Joss Whedon, just don’t.

4) Avoid eating salads in public.  You will spend more time figuring out how to get the damn lettuce into your mouth than actually eating.  Then you will overanalyze whether your inability to eat a salad speaks to some deeper issue and if other people notice and are judging you.  And in the end, you’ll just be hungry.  Really. Freaking. Hungry.

What should you take from all of this?  Well, mainly that I should stay away from men, bars and salads.  Particularly when they are all present at once.  As for my signature dance move, ignore what I said.  It’s actually pretty baller.

Any of you hail from the school of awkwardness?  Share your experiences in the comments!